Isaac, version 2.0

The boy who stands in front of me is "not" the Isaac I remember.

This is not meant to be a bad thing. There are just enough differences to overcome the similarities in my eyes. With the "reboot" of the upstairs operating system also came a reboot of the heart of the boy that was before. I have wrestled with these observations over the last week, and have realized that I was putting expectations from Isaac(1.0) onto Isaac(2.0). The stress caused by that was eating at me, little by little.

Isaac (formerly known as 2.0) is a very loving, smart boy who has difficulty remembering more than a couple tasks at a time, yet just like a twelve year old will remind you when you forgot something important to him. He will ask several times in half an hour, which could be thought of as pestering or the fact that he does not remember the answer you gave the first two times. (Again, a twelve year old)

He can play at the right time, when given a metronome, while practicing his trumpet. He can sing in time to a song he knows on the radio. Anything new, however, is as fascinating as it is cause to slow down and absorb. It can get a bit unsettling when he follows someone around, just because he wants to see what is going on. So, too, can he frustrate when playing on his phone. He will hold it close to his face and look over the top of his glasses at the phone.....for HOURS if we let him. (Sigh, again with the twelve year old)

If we thought he had a big heart before, we cannot fathom the size of it now. Hugs are a mainstay in our household. He does not particularly take an interest in playing with smaller children, instead preferring the phone, TV, or computer. I am still working on that one.

Thanksgiving was filled with fun and family. Jesse and Isaac found a slice of heaven at a cousin's house where there was one big screen TV being used for games, and another sitting next to it playing movies. What more could you ask for?

Isaac also became a "cat magnet" when two of their four cats decided he was a pillow with petting functionality. Dinner was excellent, and didn't part company until late that evening.

The weekend was not without many surprises. Brea received her acceptance to the University she was hoping for, and it made her cry.

Isaac has been thinking of the other people in the clinic, and the reasons they are there. He decided to ask "how his brain got hurt" because he didn't have an answer. Last Wednesday we discussed it as a group with his counselor.

He only got to the point where he knew there was an accident from doing something he shouldn't have before he indicated he had absorbed too much. Yesterday (Monday) he indicated to the counselor he wanted to know more information.

From the counselor to us: Isaac asked me more directly of what exactly he did to hurt his brain. I told him the same things as last Wednesday, such as he was trying something new and it didn't work out as he had planned. I also told him that he was trying a game that stopped the oxygen to his brain. I didn't tell him the exact mechanism of what he did, but reiterated that you were both there and took him to the hospital immediately. He was able to say that he was really surprised he would try something like that and wants to avoid games that take risks in the future.

Sound the Trumpets

Isaac had his first music lesson last night. The music teacher, a long time friend of ours, commented that he was surprised at how well the lesson went, compared to first lessons of other young musicians he has taught. Isaac has homework with his trumpet.

He will be using a metronome to improve his timing. He is now about a half beat off, using 4/4 time, in his response to music. That speaks volumes in my head to his recovery. We cannot begin to understand how the mind works, but we know that music pushes the limits of left/right brain function. He loves music, so we hope it will be a catalyst to continue his recovery at a higher rate.

The day prior was his actual birthday. He amazed his primary care doc. She said she had chills seeing him in the stage he is in, and having expected something completely different. She said, (pp)"I get the notes referred to me by all the treatments and doctors working with him, but seeing is much different than reading."

Mom asked him to think of where he wanted to go for family dinner, since it was his birthday. He chose Studio Movie Grill, but unfortunately all the movies playing he had already seen. He then opted for ordering pizza and watching a movie at home with the family. We all laughed through Ice Age 3 again.

Life is beginning to get better, slowly.

Birthday Boy Bash

We are overjoyed at the number of people who love and cherish our family, and are willing to come enjoy time with us. When someone goes out of their way to make things special, however, it deserves to be mentioned. Margaret Malin is a long time friend and neighbor. Her children and our children have grown up together. We have shared much, and have seen both wonders and challenges in both families over the last 10+ years.

Isaac with Josh, Jill, Jessica, and Brea

She created, coordinated, and amazingly pulled off a block party for Isaac's birthday on Sunday. Friends and family came from near and far to sit and enjoy with us after a great football game. (yes, I was listening dear)

Isaac took to it well. He mingled with friends, socialized with those friends who are a bit more shy than others, and got kids and adults involved in the largest game of keep away I have seen in many years. He lost himself in his phone when the sights and sounds were overbearing, but soon got back into the fray.

Testing New Walkie Talkies with friends

Margaret elicited the help of our neighborhood grill king and all around neat guy, John, to cook hot dogs and brats. My buddy Bill came to help with setup and camaraderie, and of course lead the team in keep away. Victor and family were there, as were Charles, Lucia, and family. They brought my other buddy, CJ, who kept all the girls enthralled with his cuteness.

Others brought everything from beans to tortilla rolls (those were good, Debbie) to chips and desserts. One big jar of cheese puffs kept calling to me, thank you Robert, but I wasn't able to get to them until much later.

Angry Birds....Yea!!!

Many thanks to all the people who came. A special thank you to Mr. and Mrs. Nacke, who taught our kids (and others in attendance) in fifth grade, for coming to celebrate with us.

Lastly, Margaret, we thank you so very, very much for all the diligence to make this a great party for Isaac!

Brea and Josh in "Chalk Wars"

New schedule for the McCradys (11-10-2011 - Thursday)

Isaac had a good weekend at home, and now has begun to settle into a routine with us. Now that he is home at night, we get his studies from the Middle School he started before the accident. They are supposed to have his work ready on Friday, but since we enrolled him that day it would have been difficult on the teachers to have the work ready for me to pick up that afternoon. Instead, I picked it up on Monday afternoon after work.

For us to get him to the clinic, and mom to get adequate time in at work, we have had to work out a few kinks in the morning schedule. The day starts off around 0445 with the parents waking up and dad going for a run. Isaac and sister starts coming in about 0515, usually before dad is out the door. By the time dad gets back at 0615 they are leaving or all out the door (sister, too, if she has morning practice). This morning (Thursday) I saw mom and Isaac coming down our block on their way to work and clinic. (We don't say school, because school will be totally different when he is ready for that) They stopped and said hi/bye to me at the corner.

Tuesday night was family night at Rosa's. Upon finding out we were going, Isaac asked if we could "get some through the Drive Through" instead. I asked him why he didn't want to go in and he responded, "because it is too loud in there."
While I can understand his issue with the noise, because it does get loud in the restaurant, I said, "We have to learn how to deal with loud places. Daddy doesn't like loud places either, but we like the food. Sometimes we get there and it isn't as loud, so we take the good over the bad and go. If it happens to be loud, we focus real hard on our own conversation and eat a little more quickly so we can leave."

As it would turn out, the hoards of teenagers meeting for a cheap meal were there at the same time we sat down. Isaac did well for about 15 minutes, then about halfway through his taco started getting frustrated. Mom and I both saw it, so I turned to him and said, "Go ahead and put your phone on the table. Play one of your games so you can focus away, but keep eating your taco." Normally phones are not allowed while eating, unless we are looking up something to share with everyone. (I love iPhones. It's the only Mac I ever want, but it is good! ....remember, tech dad here!) About 10 minutes after his episode, the rowdy crowd left. I leaned over and said, "Hey! Guess what?"

"What?"

"They're GOOOOOONE!" (motioning to the empty tables)

As soon as I said it, one of the kids opened the back door and yelled something like, "Hey Johnnie! Come on!"

Isaac looked at me with raised eyebrows.

I gave him a funny face and said, "Straggler!"

We both laughed.

Isaac has been working on the Wii, much more on his tablet and phone, with games and skill tests. Last night he received quite a few pieces of mail. We decided to go get some birthday arrangements for a friend who came to the hospital for a surprise. He read the cards that he received, with sister and brother helping, during our drive.

One of the cards had us curious, since the front return was from a U.S. Federal Court, and was hand addressed to Isaac. Not realizing the possibilities of its origin, I opened it to make sure it was correct. Smiling, I put it back in the envelope and let him open it. That was the neatest card I have seen in awhile. Thank you, Sir. (The judge is a classmate of my father-in-law, who is following Isaac's progress)

We then took our birthday stuff home to drop off mom and sister, and dad took them to work to put up the decorations for the surprise the next day. Isaac was funny trying to blow up a balloon, while dad and brother tried not to break their necks hanging the banner and streamers. Then it was back home for bedtime. He still has to sleep about 9 hours in order to be ready for the next day. His brain has to process more than normal at night, so giving him that time is very beneficial.

He likes his room. It has stayed simple, with clothes and bed things. We got the mattress for the day bed, and put it in Brea's room. We moved her futon, that I brought back from Iowa, into the boys room for Jesse. He seems to like it as well.

His processing speed is much more apparent, as is his vocal ability, now that he is at the house. It is still a process, but we take it a day at a time.

A new life at home

Brother, sister, and I spent most of last week working on the house and the boys' room. Brother concentrated on the room, and sister came in to help with the final portion on Friday.

The idea was to make the bedrooms back into what they were intended for....sleep. The family room is now a place where all gather as a family to watch TV, etc. This had changed, slightly, with the computers and TVs in the rooms.

Dad had to meet the Special Education team at Huffines to transfer his adaptive learning program from Irving ISD to Lewisville ISD. The law says that wherever Isaac sleeps is where he gets his educational materials. Huffines will be providing the work, and mom and dad will be the "middle men" to ensure they get between Huffines and the clinic.

Anyway, Dad went down after work and met mom at the apartment to pack him up. The aide and Isaac had an apparent head start, because when I arrived everything was pretty much already done regarding the packing. We filled the back of the truck, then walked down to the office and signed him out "for the last time."

The last thing we took out of the office was the clock on his wall. Made to look like a tire and rim, with tools for hands, I wanted him to have a familiar look to his room at home than that at the apartment. We took it down, and once home, put it up in his room where he would see it in the morning. Because the apartment had removed the doors from the bedroom closet, probably to accommodate wheelchair access, we removed the doors of the closet at home to increase the familiarity.

He was excited and nervous at the same time. The rest of the family was similarly affected, and his sister had actual flu symptoms that kept her home from school on Friday. Despite that, moving him went fairly smooth on Friday.

Saturday we slept in, then went to our weekly family soccer game. Dad was supposed to run in the early morning, but waited until noon. (that was a mistake) He was able to play, but not as well as he liked. One of our players decided not to play with us after the game that day. We were sad to lose her, because she is very skilled. Ladies are difficult to find in coed soccer.

Back home for freshening up that afternoon, then out to find mattresses. Our cousins gave us a single bed with a trundle since we were short one bed in the remodel. The only catch is that it did not come with mattresses, so we went out in search of mattresses for it.

Charles, Lucia, and Angeline came over to play cards. We had a great time with them, while the kids watched Indispicable Me.

Sunday was relax day. Isaac was seriously overloaded from all the activity and coming home. We watched the football game at noon (Dad listened while he did his run), then washed up and started dinner. Dad got a crazy notion for chicken pot pie casserole, so he showed the teens how to make it while mom took Isaac to the store for a couple items Isaac needed.

We watched Once Upon a Time on Hulu to get ready for the newest episode, then watched it all together. Monday he will start back to clinic, this time riding with mom instead of riding the bus. We will see how that works.

I see more of the hesitant boy, but I think that is because he has not relaxed being at the house yet.

Where are we now?

I know many of you who follow this blog are up-to-date with all of the strides we see, but let me tell you the rest of the story about Isaac's progress. As his parents, we would rather look at him for what he can do than what he cannot. This perspective keeps us sane, but there are times when we must face the ugly task of defining his limitations. This, to me, is the stressful part of the ordeal, so I will try to give you a clearer picture of Isaac's Second Chance, thus far.

All the things you do, because "that's the way it's done", is due to a learned response sometime in your past. You have memories connected to pleasure, danger, etc that sum up your life experience. You refer to these when making decisions, both short and long term. Now imagine that most of your "connections" are gone, but the snippets of movies in your head remain. You have a slight feeling that a certain choice should be made, but the trauma (good or bad) that solidified that memory as your decision maker is now just a whisper in your head you can disregard. Your conscious focus is on the current moment rather than the past or future, which is what we all should do, but the past teaches us what not to do and the future holds long term goals we make while living the moment. Not being able to utilize past or future in your thinking would keep you from progressing.

Those defining traits from your past, that sum up your character, are essentially gone. You must learn those connections again, or make new ones, until the 'common sense' makes sense again. By the way, this is how people who are generally angry and have a brain injury can heal to be a completely different person.

Now, find the closest thing to you with more than two paragraphs of written words. (not this blog) Memorize the first two lines of the second paragraph, then set a timer for five minutes and recite the two lines without looking back at the source. You may find it difficult, depending on whether you have honed these skills in the recent past, to remember the entire selection. Isaac has difficulty with this short term memory all the time. He might not remember any of it.

Now imagine that you could read words, but writing them is near impossible. You know that you understand what should go on the page, but translating from your head to your hand is like writing through jello. It is a slow, tedious process.

Sound and light are 30% brighter/louder than what they really are. The more of it, the more you have to mentally block. This, like those before, are learned traits. If you bring a country person to the city you can easily overwhelm them with the sights and sounds.

So, with that perspective in mind.....

Isaac is presently 95% the same kid as before.

Here is the 5%:

Focus and Short Term Memory
Focus is elusive in the best of times. ADD/ADHD/OCD, all these come to mind when watching Isaac move throughout the evening. Staying focused is apparently another learned response, because it is improving, yet still not even close to normal. Staying on task, with distraction, is very limited. Staying on task without distraction is better. We have seen a marked improvement in the last month in this area, but there are definite signs that focus is a major issue to both his recovery and his relearning process.

Processing ability
This is the hardest part for Isaac. He can process quickly for reactive purposes, but conscious effort is cause for serious thinking. Isaac cannot accomplish that easily. Periods of thinking cause him to stop, usually physically, in order to focus. Improvements here have been in time duration. Isaac used to take several minutes to respond (while in OCH). Now time to response is usually 30 seconds to ~3 minutes.

He has trouble making decisions on his own
If you ask Isaac what he wants for dinner, he will eventually become frustrated. This is because he cannot pare down the foods and make a decision based on that criteria. However, if you ask him if he would rather have A or B, he can think hard enough to give you a response. There is improvement in this area, but as of now it is still not a fast thing


He is limited in his ability to see danger
Walking out in the street is usually learned by the first or second grade. Isaac is still relearning this concept. Basic concepts are being learned, but the intricate ones are still to come.

Language
Isaac's overall processing power is slower than normal.
Isaac can process language better than anything else. He can converse with you and use "near" adult words. He understands normal conversation as well as some advanced topics.

Math
Isaac has recently been doing fractions at math, but it is not easy. We feel his skills are there, but the time for processing is still way out of normal.

Beyond that, Isaac is the "happy go lucky" kid we have always known. We are moving him home on Friday, and will be doing outpatient therapy at CNS from then on.

Remember, while I have written a novel on this website, this has only been going on for two months as of November 1st. At his current progress, and given that the statistics for rapid progress in recovery show he has another month, Isaac should be starting to improve all the above this month. We are optimistic he can conquer most of the improvements by December.

Regardless, we will continue using CNS until they tell us different, but our goal is to get him back into school by his 7th grade year.

Transition to outpatient imminent !!!

We have begun to get the ball rolling on his transition to the house. It takes more than just moving him, because where he "lives" determines his home school. With him in Dallas and Irving, they were the educational preference. Lewisville will be now, so we have to move his registration from Irving to Lewisville.

We have a meeting today with the middle school to get that started. His actual transition to the house should be Friday, unless there is a compelling reason from the insurance as to why it should not happen.